THE Sentence:
The fight had made Mark something of a hero, and the whole story was going around school in various versions, all different.
from That Was Then, This Is Now by S.E. Hinton
This sentence puts two thoughts together into one sentence that flows very well.
MY Sentence:
The show had made Sally popular over night, and the rumor was no longer true that she stole the main lead, all a lie.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sentence 11
THE Sentence:
We ran across the schoolyard, crawled under the fence to Deer's Pasture behind our house, climed our back fence and were at the back steps before Jem would let us pause to rest.
from To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
This sentence is very complex and shows the effort the children placed in their actions.
MY Sentence:
Daniel walked through the store, searched over the aisles with candy behind the clothes, shouted around the people and went to the speaker so he could find Ashley.
We ran across the schoolyard, crawled under the fence to Deer's Pasture behind our house, climed our back fence and were at the back steps before Jem would let us pause to rest.
from To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
This sentence is very complex and shows the effort the children placed in their actions.
MY Sentence:
Daniel walked through the store, searched over the aisles with candy behind the clothes, shouted around the people and went to the speaker so he could find Ashley.
Sentence 10
THE Sentence:
from To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
This sentence has two verbs that help to describe clearly the way in which Jem is leaving the house and runs away.
MY Sentence:
Amy bounded from the house and sprinted toward them.
Jem leaped off the porch and galloped toward us.
from To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
This sentence has two verbs that help to describe clearly the way in which Jem is leaving the house and runs away.
MY Sentence:
Amy bounded from the house and sprinted toward them.
Sentence 9
THE Sentence:
And then I was in his arms, kissing him, and our tears mingled together as we laughed and cried and held each other.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence has a lot of repeating verbs and verb phrases that seem to suggest that there was a lot of action found in the context.
MY Sentence:
And then I was stumbling, searching around, and my phone wasn't working as I cried and prayed and hoped for help in the dark.
And then I was in his arms, kissing him, and our tears mingled together as we laughed and cried and held each other.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence has a lot of repeating verbs and verb phrases that seem to suggest that there was a lot of action found in the context.
MY Sentence:
And then I was stumbling, searching around, and my phone wasn't working as I cried and prayed and hoped for help in the dark.
Sentence 8
THE Sentence:
But almost can be a really big word.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence is very short in number of words, but has great context that needs no more detail.
MY Sentence:
But truth can be a complete lie.
But almost can be a really big word.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence is very short in number of words, but has great context that needs no more detail.
MY Sentence:
But truth can be a complete lie.
Sentence 7
THE Sentence:
And the worst part was, if you took away the disgusting Raven Mockers, who seemed to be everywhere, I could almost convinced myself that everything was normal.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence plus the focus to the middle parts of the sentence, found between the commas, and away from the other parts that seem to be distant from the actual thought of the sentence.
MY Sentence:
And the best part was, if you ignored the fact James wasn't there, who seemed to always miss my birthday, it was almost a perfect day.
And the worst part was, if you took away the disgusting Raven Mockers, who seemed to be everywhere, I could almost convinced myself that everything was normal.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence plus the focus to the middle parts of the sentence, found between the commas, and away from the other parts that seem to be distant from the actual thought of the sentence.
MY Sentence:
And the best part was, if you ignored the fact James wasn't there, who seemed to always miss my birthday, it was almost a perfect day.
Sentence 6
THE Sentence:
My classes, as my Spanish teacher, Professor Garmy, would have said, had she not turned into a good little pod professor, were no bueno para me.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence is very jumbled and has to be read through twice to make sure of the meaning, but gives a good example to the world she is living in.
MY Sentence:
My books, as my best friend, Stacey, would have said, if she had of seen my room as of late, were overflowing.
My classes, as my Spanish teacher, Professor Garmy, would have said, had she not turned into a good little pod professor, were no bueno para me.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence is very jumbled and has to be read through twice to make sure of the meaning, but gives a good example to the world she is living in.
MY Sentence:
My books, as my best friend, Stacey, would have said, if she had of seen my room as of late, were overflowing.
Sentence 5
THE Sentence:
I met Erik's eyes and saw the vulnerability through the pretend confidence of his smile.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence uses very good adjectives to describe not only the visual way things looked, but also reveals the hidden feelings.
MY Sentence:
I saw the dog for the first time and saw the anguish in his eyes through the lop-sided grin.
I met Erik's eyes and saw the vulnerability through the pretend confidence of his smile.
from Hunted by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence uses very good adjectives to describe not only the visual way things looked, but also reveals the hidden feelings.
MY Sentence:
I saw the dog for the first time and saw the anguish in his eyes through the lop-sided grin.
Sentence 4
THE Sentence:
But this wasn't a normal day, and I couldn't help but believe this also wasn't a normal thunderstorm.
This sentence seems fairly ordinary, but the repetition of the word "normal" seems to point out that the things in this sentence are "normal" but the context is contrary to the word normal.
MY Sentence:
But this wasn't an average test, and I had to believe this wasn't an average class.
But this wasn't a normal day, and I couldn't help but believe this also wasn't a normal thunderstorm.
This sentence seems fairly ordinary, but the repetition of the word "normal" seems to point out that the things in this sentence are "normal" but the context is contrary to the word normal.
MY Sentence:
But this wasn't an average test, and I had to believe this wasn't an average class.
Sentence 3
THE Sentence:
Okay, the guy looked nice, until he picked up a sword- uh, I mean foil- then he shifted from nice guy to deadly-dangerous-vampyre-warrior-guy.
This sentence is very complicated, with several commas and dashes and uses a lot of adjectives to show how complex this guy looks.
MY Sentence:
So, the lake appeared pretty, until it got dark- there was no light- then it glowed from pretty picture to a creepy-deadly-scary-murky-puddle of death.
Okay, the guy looked nice, until he picked up a sword- uh, I mean foil- then he shifted from nice guy to deadly-dangerous-vampyre-warrior-guy.
This sentence is very complicated, with several commas and dashes and uses a lot of adjectives to show how complex this guy looks.
MY Sentence:
So, the lake appeared pretty, until it got dark- there was no light- then it glowed from pretty picture to a creepy-deadly-scary-murky-puddle of death.
Sentence 2
THE Sentence:
So it had been two years since I'd been around a horse, but it came back to me instantly-all of it.
from Marked by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence begins in a past tense but switches to present and then uses a dash to emphasize the intensity of the previous words.
MY Sentence:
So I hadn't done my homework in quiet sometime, but it became necessary towards the end of the nine weeks-all in one week!
So it had been two years since I'd been around a horse, but it came back to me instantly-all of it.
from Marked by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
This sentence begins in a past tense but switches to present and then uses a dash to emphasize the intensity of the previous words.
MY Sentence:
So I hadn't done my homework in quiet sometime, but it became necessary towards the end of the nine weeks-all in one week!
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